Wednesday, February 25, 2009

God get me out of this car...right now!

"Would you stop it already, you dick! We're here!"

Our van pulled up nosily to the complex, the radio blasting some fierce 80's music. The place looked like it was designed as a hospital or something. In all actuality, that's our mall. Yep, the epicenter, the fireplace of every American's heart. Can't go 3 seconds without mentioning some lame brand wear.
And I'm Aurelia. Auri, for short. Or Audrey. My friends always come up with the most retarded nicks! Not the best thing to name someone, but what can I say? You make with what you have, right?
I would guess so. Or I would like to guess so. Touche'? Hehe.

God I hate this place. It's seriously the same old crap every single time I come here. Oh, let's go to American Eagle! Sale at Macy's! Look at these $80 shoes! OMG do I look fat in this?
So I made that last part up, haha. Who in their right mind actually says that?
"Out of State License Plate!"
I felt a sharp but quiet pain in my shoulder as I looked, painfully obvious: Idaho Plates. Piece of shit did it to me again!
"Stop being such a Le' Douche, lamebrain," I said as I faked a hard one someplace where the sun would love to shine.
The boy looked back at me. Man, it seems like it was so long ago. Little skinny kid, with a prick comb over and a mouth louder than the 2008 debate. Used to be such a little asshole. Well, I guess not much has changed. He's a big asshole now.
"Fuck you bitch," He said as he flung the door open. "I got skills, if you'd stop thinking about your ow ow!" He yelled that last part loud, some older people from a couple of cars over looked mortified.
"He's not my boyfriend. ." I said as I climbed out of the van, the sun welcoming me to the good ol' city life. "He's just a nice kid."
"He's just a nice kid!" The other kid mouthed, obviously dripping with sarcasm. My Pepsi. "Grow up Audrey. He's two grades lower than you. I mean, he probably still looks at hentai!"
Another figure came towards me, but it took me a moment. Had to get rid of that big, annoying green bloch.
"I'm just kidding, Auri." He said with a boyish grin. Kid would seem hot if he wasn't gay.
Yeah, gay. I'm not talking about like, Clay Aiken gay. I'm talking like, crazy gay. Musical theatre gay. Almost, but not quite, the karma kameleon. And why I knew that last part of that sentence is beyond me.
"I know, Elton," I said, smiling. "Don't be mad because you're jealous."
"Psshh," he said, flicking his body around. "Whatever. That kid can't handle me." He strutted through the parking lot.
"Dude, I'm not even gay and I can hardly handle you," the taller kid said. "Wait. That sounded so wrong!" He started laughing, dude was loud.
He looked back at me, his tall frame blocking the sun out of my eyes. "What's up, Auri? What's on your mind?"
"Nothing, Pineapple. I'll be fine." I said, trailing off. I didn't really feel like talking about it. I'd rather talk about the sale on shoes than what he knows I would say if I didn't hold myself back. And I hate -- nevermind. You know.
What was that? Oh yeah. You're probably wondering why I call him Pineapple? Well, for one, he's Hawaiian. His real name is Brycent but I only use that if I'm really pissed. Like that time he ran around the house with my underwear on his head, acting like one of those things from Cacoon. Ugh.
Anyways, this kid was tall. And he was brash. Like, I get afraid? Well, only when I'm out with him by myself. No -- not like you're thinking. It's more of the fact that he wants to fight. All the time. If someone even says Hello in the wrong tone he'll be all over you like a fat kid on a cupcake. Good thing about that is he always has your back. Not like I need his.
"Are we going to sit here and surf all day?" Elton asked. His face was already getting shiny. Damn it was hot today.
"Keep your pants on, Liberachi." Pineapple warned. "I'm sure Demo's all ready for you. Fucking stupid store."
We all made our way across the parking lot, in which felt like a desert. Dessert? MMm, I wish. I've been hungry lately. More than usual.
The doors greeted us, as several people entered and exited. A really well curved girl passed us by as I waited for the expected.
"Daammmnn, girl! Spread it on!" Pineapple exclaimed. I glanced back really quick to make sure she didn't look back. Which she did. After Pine looked away. Stupid bitch. I hate it when girls try to mentally say Fuck You.
The food court. Yay. My haven. Saw some guys, looked cute. Saw some girls too, not bad. I saw McDonald's. I know I shouldn't be eating there. That food's terrible for you. It's like eating cake, as it does not lie. Never.
Elton looked around and then back at us. "I'm going to my store. You coming girlie?" He asked me, with an expectant look on his face.
I shrugged. "I dunno El, I think I'm going to grab some food first. How about we meet you there?"
"Kay, seeya. Don't gain too much weight!" He said, smirking.
"Dude, I'm fucking hungry!" Pineapple exclaimed. He had this look like he just ate some shit.
"Ok, what do you want to eat?" I asked him, looking around. It was like the mall -- just for food. Wow, my last name should be changed to Einstein.
"I don't know, whatever. Mcdonalds!" He said, pointing. We made our way through the tables. God, not even 5 minutes and I recognized more than 10 people. I hate it when people notice you. Then they want to talk and get all mushy and fake and shit.
"I'll get -- a double cheeseburger! 2. And uwh, large fry!" He said. At least he keeps it cheap. I was hoping he'd get more, sorta. Isn't it weird when your friends defy your expectations? I hate it when that happens.
"Drink?" I asked, angling my head up. Stupid hair got in my eyes.
"You know this, man!" He exclaimed. "I'll go find a damn table."
Haha, same ol Pine. Never pays but it's not like he's a scapegoat. He has a job. Fast food, uh huh, but at least it gets the bills in order. Better than mine. I sit at a register all day in some stupid magic store. Bleh. Talk about a real life. That's right! I just sit all day obsessing over old tomes that nobody can give 2 cents to in these times. Sometimes I like to read a few passages. Don't get me wrong - it's interesting but I'm not all crazy gothic. There's a few spells I'd love to learn sometime but I just don't have the time.
We sat down at a little two person table, everyone around us completely oblivious to our presence. Isn't it weird...if you just sit back and try to even imagine what someone else is thinking at that exact moment, or how little your existence actually means to everyone's stuff I'd just rather think when I'm stoned. Sometimes it creeps me out.
And then it doesn't. Sometimes it's an escape. Magic, I mean. Like, there's things every girl wishes they could do to the popular girl in high school, like give her genital herpes on her face. Okay, maybe not that extreme. Hey, I bought the paddles to keep my boat afloat, alright?
"I can't wait to check that fucking place out after work, it's pretty bad ass."
Huh? Oh yeah. There was someone sitting in front of me.
"Yeah, me and El already signed the agreement. Funny that it's out in the middle of crack-ass nowhere, huh? I mean, better for us."
Pineapple nodded. "Seriously dude, I don't regret knocking that old ass man out. He was a bitch of a neighbor. Remember when he thought you were possessed because of how you looked? Besides he would always rat us out. I'm going to welcome being out in the asshole of nowhere land."
Roll. My eyes. He was the reason we got kicked out of our last place. It was in a nice, little gated community. The occasional party but we mostly kept to ourselves. But we DID have an old bastard for a neighbor. We were able to play it off and only get out of that situation with an infraction.
"So I hear that place is haunted. If I see or hear anything I'm taking off. Fuck you guys," he sloshed his food noisily as he talked. For some reason I was used to it. The food, I mean.
I don't really believe in ghosts but that movie sure did scare me growing up. What was it called? It was the one with the old tall guy. Very creepy. I heard someone actually bought the movie prop to that little ball with spikes. Probably for bondage. Sickos.
"Well, whatever. We should be just fine. We're far enough away from anyone. That'd probably scare you off first, Mr. Popular!" I said jokingly, nudging him on the shoulder. He just looked away, like he always does. He knows I'm right. Hahaha.
I stared at my watch for a few minutes. Almost time to take Pina to work. If only Elton would hurry up. I don't really feel like wading through conformists to get him.
"I'll get him, just wait out in the car. Here - keys." He slid them over to me and started making his way to find El. I again rolled my eyes - I'm not exactly in the best mood - and grabbed them. I glanced down at the tray in front of me. Almost looks like Pineapple wasted more food than he ate.
I'm not taking that. I can see that bitch staring at me right now. Jealous because my ass is bigger than hers! Well, at least I think it is. I hate it when people stare.
The bright, invasive light greeted my brain as I stepped out of the food court into the parking lot, the smell of tar filling my nose. Out of one hole and into another. At least it was a nice, lazy afternoon. I love them.